


Would You Like to Play a (Guessing) Game?

by isaDanCurtisproduction



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: And on accident, Blatant War Games References, Coming Out, Confused Avengers, Confused Tony Stark, Established Relationship, Fluff, Go Clint, In a really unique way, M/M, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Natasha Romanov Knows All, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-09
Updated: 2016-11-09
Packaged: 2018-08-29 23:11:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8509225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isaDanCurtisproduction/pseuds/isaDanCurtisproduction
Summary: Clint is not at all prepared for his date. And honestly none of the rest of the Avengers are either.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this. and then my computer crashed, and I thought i lost it forever and I tried to drown my sorrows in Angry Orchard (shut up, I'm a light weight) but then it recovered itself somehow, so instead of waiting to upload it like I was going to, I'm not going to tempt the gods and I'm going to upload this right the frickle-frackle now.

Clint rushed into the common room looking uncharacteristically frazzled. He was wearing a suit jacket over his boxers. The collar was flipped inside out, the shirt was mostly unbuttoned, and beneath his boxers he was wearing toe-socks with pine trees on them. Very foresty. 

“What are you doing all dressed up?” Tony demanded from the couch. He’d been in the middle of showing Steve and Thor the wonders of War Games, with Bruce and Natasha chipping in now and again to repeat the most famous lines and, in Bruce’s case, agree with Tony about some of the technological inaccuracies. Now they were all staring at Clint with a sort of confused fascination. 

“Nat!” Clint said urgently, brushing off Tony’s comment. “Which one?” He thrust out his hand, making it obvious that he was clutching at least thirty ties.

Nat hummed as she perused the bunch, flipping ties left and right until she found the one she liked. “This one,” she said, pulling on a dark blue tie with tiny golden koi swimming around it.

“Thanks!” Clint called as he dropped the excess ties and dashed from the room. Natasha swept the scattered ties beneath the couch with her toe and then curled back up onto the couch.

“What was that about?” Steve asked.

“He’s got a date tonight, obviously,” Tony said.

Natasha nodded.

“Whom is our Hawkeye courting?” Thor asked.

Natasha’s lips curled into a smile. “I didn’t know you were such a gossip. Let’s get back to the movie before he interrupts again. We’re getting to a good part.”

War Games flickered back into motion on the screen.

 

The second time Clint rushed into the common room he was looking much more put together. His collar was flipped the correct way around, his shirt was buttoned fully, and the koi tie was tied around his neck. He still wasn’t wearing pants or shoes, but honestly it could be a worse fashion choice.

“Where’s my cologne?” Clint demanded as he stumbled to a stop and the movie froze once more.

Natasha, yanked at the hem of Clint’s jacket, pulling him forward and down till he was bent over enough for her to fiddle with his tie. She smoothed it out and tightened it a respectable amount around the throat. “It’s in the armory.”

“Why?” Clint and Bruce asked at the same time, but Clint didn’t wait for an answer before rushing from the room.

“No seriously,” Bruce said, “why did Clint even have his cologne in the armory?”

Natasha shrugged. “Something about his enemies needing to know it was him by smell. I’m not sure it makes sense, but I’m not sure Clint has ever made sense.” Natasha shrugged again. “Jarvis?”

The movie resumed.

 

“Nat,” Clint whined, sliding across the smooth floor on his sock-feet and skidding to a stop in front of Natasha.

“C’mon!” Steve said, “this is the _climax_!”

Natasha shrugged.

Clint spun to look at the screen. “Ooohhh, I love this movie! Would you like to play a game?”

“You’re hilarious,” Tony said with a deadpan. “Now tell Natasha what you need so she can fix you so you can go impress some chick and _let us finish this movie_.”

“Impress some chick,” Clint repeated and then laughed. “You’re hysterical, Stark.”

“Clint,” Natasha said slowly to get him back on track, and Clint’s eyes flicked to hers. “You’re wearing your pants backwards.”

Clint looked down to see a paunch in the pants in the front, and then twisted around, turning a little, like a dog chasing his own tail, in order to see the zipper in the middle of his butt. “Oh!” he exclaimed in relief. “I was wondering what was wrong.”

He dropped his pants, wiggling a little to unstick them from awkward places, stepped out of them, before turning around and stepping into them the right way round. He pulled them into place with ease, buttoned, zipped, and belted.

“Is that what you came down here for?” Bruce asked.

“Yup,” Clint said with a pop, and then bolted from the room.

“What the fuck.” Tony said.

Natasha shrugged. “ _Would_ you like to play a game?”

“Oh my god, Romanoff, shut up.”

 

The next time Clint barreled into the room he was wearing shoes. They looked nice. Or they would in theory. They looked expensive at least, dark and glossy.

“Why?” Steve asked aloud, “why is there blood on your dress shoes.”

“I don’t know!” Clint moaned, clutching at his hair.

“It’s going to be fine,” Natasha soothed. “A little blood never hurt any outfit.”

“I’m not sure Clint’s date would agree,” Bruce pointed out.

Almost immediately the tension ran out of Clint’s frame. “Oh my god, Bruce, you’re right. I’m just being silly.”

“What?” Bruce asked, frowning.

Natasha patted Clint’s arm. “There. See? Blood never hurt anything.”

“Which is good,” Clint agreed, “because these are my only pair of nice shoes.”

“You could always borrow mine,” Natasha offered, and then stuck out a pointed toe to mimic a high heel.

Clint scoffed. “As if my feet would fit in your shoes.” 

He started walking away, but before he could get very far Tony said, “So who’s the lucky lady? Or is it some sort of spy secret?”

Clint laughed. “Tony, you are such a kidder.” And then he ran off.

“What the fuck, is right,” Bruce said.

Natasha smirked.

“Natasha, I don’t like that smile,” Steve admitted.

“Good.”

 

“How do I look?” Clint said, bursting into the room slightly out of breath. The movie had just ended, and Steve wanted to discuss how similar Joshua was to Jarvis. Thor wanted to watch it again. 

Clint stood in front of the tv instead, and asked again: “How do I look?”

His suit was done up correctly, buttons in the right place, shoes on his feet. 

“You look fine, my friend,” Thor said. “You are sure to impress the subject of your wooing tonight.” 

“Yeah,” Tony said. “You’ll knock her socks right off. Now who is she? Someone we know? Someone at SHIELD?”

Clint laughed again. “Thanks for joking with me like this. Really takes the edge off my nerves.”

“Joking,” Tony said, deadpan.

“Yeah,” Clint said and flapped his hand dismissively. He patted at his pockets, his pants, looked up both sleeves. “Am I missing anything?”

“The flowers,” Natasha said.

“Flowers!” Clint exclaimed and ran off.

“Wait,” Bruce said once Clint was out of earshot, “Are we supposed to know who he’s dating?”

Steve shrugged.

“Natasha?” Tony asked. “You got some ‘splanin’ to do.”

“Nat!” Clint screeched, crashing into the room.

“You left them in my kitchen,” Natasha said.

“Thanks!” Clint spit out and then he was gone again.

“He left flowers in your kitchen?” Thor asked.

“Roses,” Natasha clarified. “The better for wooing.”

“But why _your_ kitchen,” Steve asked.

Natasha shrugged. “I can probably be trusted not to kill roses?”

At that moment a chime sounded, the one that signaled that someone was entering the common area by way of elevator, and Coulson stepped into the room wearing his customary suit.

“Agent!” Tony yelled, “What a pleasant surprise!”

Natasha nodded a greeting.

“Agent Coulson,” Steve said in a more sedate tone of voice. “Is there anything we can do for you?”

“Any emergencies?” Tony asked.

“Aliens?” Bruce asked.

“Killers?” Thor asked.

“No,” Coulson said with the tiniest of smiles. “Nothing like that. I’m here for Barton.”

“Awwww,” Tony whined. “No, don’t do that man. He’s got a date tonight. Leave him alone.”

Coulson gave Tony a strange look.

“He is very excited,” Bruce added, “I think he’d be quite put out if he had to cancel it.”

Coulson gave Bruce a strange look as well.

“Oh yeah,” Natasha added, a smirk on her face. “He’d be so upset if you made him cancel.”

Coulson gave Natasha strange look. Natasha returned it. He squinted at her, cut his eyes to the rest of the Avenges, and then glared at her. She glared back until he seemed to deflate. Coulson sighed.

 

“Natasha!” Clint’s voice echoed down the hall, “I found them! They were beneath your sink. Why were they beneath your—” he skidded to a stop upon entering the room and seeing Coulson there. Slightly out of breath, clutching the bouquet of red roses to his chest, Clint let out a happy sigh and a quiet, “Hi.”

Tony looked at Clint, looked at the way he was possibly crushing the roses. “Don’t let Coulson ruin your date, Clint. You just ignore him.”

Clint laughed.

Bruce turned to Coulson with a pleading expression. “Is work that important tonight?” Bruce asked. 

Clint laughed harder.

Thor nodded at Bruce and then turned to Coulson himself. “May Clint not enjoy himself on his courtship tonight?”

Clint’s laughing, if possible, got louder and more boisterous.

Steve turned a concerned eye to their teammate. “You ok there Clint?”

Clint wiped a tear from beneath his eye and beamed at his team. “You guys are too funny. I haven’t laughed that hard since Barney got his foot stuck under the fortune teller’s crystal ball. Now, see you all tomorrow, if you know what I mean.” He winked lasciviously, grabbed and squeezed Coulson’s left ass-cheek, kissed Coulson on the lips, and then dragged him, by the tie, from the room toward the elevator.

“What the fuck?” Tony asked.

“It’s their six year anniversary,” Natasha said, expression neutral.

“They’ve been dating for six years?” Bruce demanded.

“They’ve been married for six years,” Natasha corrected.

“How did we not know?” Steve asked, aghast.

Natasha shrugged. “I bet Clint thinks he told you, and I bet Clint told Coulson that he did tell you.”

“What a strange state of affairs,” Thor said quietly.

“This changes…. Surprisingly little,” Bruce said.

Steve nodded.

Tony coughed into his fist. “He can never know we didn’t know.”

Natasha smirked. “I’m texting him right now.”

“God- _dammnit_ Natashalie!”


End file.
